Is toxic guilt ruining your wellbeing?
If you are familiar with the dance between Toxic Guilt and Self-Sacrifice, this blog is for you.
Quite often folks that struggle with self-care, also struggle with a core belief like “Worthlessness”, “Not Good Enough”, or even worse “Unlovable”.
These core beliefs were primarily formed in our childhoods and then reinforced throughout our lives, literally ALTERING the way we see the world, the way we interpret all our interactions and often STRENGTHENING those negative beliefs about ourselves.
If you would like to know more about what core beliefs you might be harbouring - I have this handy workbook!
Toxic guilt is like that clingy friend who never lets you forget your mistakes. It loves to whisper in your ear, "Remember that time in third grade when you stole a biscuit from your grandma’s cupboard'?" Yeah, guilt won't let you live it down.
Whether it's eating that extra slice of pizza or taking a personal day from work, toxic guilt can make you feel like you've committed a crime. But guess what? It's time to declare yourself innocent! Guilt is a positive emotion for knowing right from wrong, but when it becomes an overactive constant companion, it's like carrying around a backpack full of rocks. Let's lighten the load?
Now, enter the charming partner, Self-Sacrifice. She loves to swoop in and save the day—just not your day. Self-sacrifice thrives on putting everyone else's needs before your own. It's the unsung hero who forgets to wear a cape but is exhausted from carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.
Being the go-to person for everyone's problems can be fulfilling, at first. BUT neglecting your own well-being is like lending someone your umbrella and getting drenched in the rain. It leads to illness, resentment, burnout, destroyed relationships (surprisingly) and a constant reinforcement of the belief that “you’re not worth it”.
Toxic guilt and self-sacrifice often sneak into our lives when we haven't had our self-care monitored in childhood, or our needs met. We learn how to navigate relationships by the ones who raised us, and often we are told, be a good girl or boy, don’t be angry, don’t say this and that. Then, we shape who we are DEPENDING on the approval of others.
Normalizing the acknowledgment that many of us didn't receive a PhD in Self-Care during our formative years is the first step to breaking free from the guilt and sacrifice loop. It's okay not to have it all figured out, and it's okay to rewrite the script.
It's time to show Toxic Guilt and Self-Sacrifice the door, thank them for their unsolicited advice for years on end, and embrace a new party theme: The Unapologetic Self-Care Soiree.
BECAUSE TAKING CARE OF YOU, IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO.
Others around us, cannot benefit from our support if we aren’t here and healthy to provide it.
Oxygen mask on YOU before you do anything for anyone else.
So, let's bid farewell to the uninvited guests and welcome the era of guilt-free self-care.
Sick of guilt ruling your life!?
Tired to looking after everyone else?
Constantly making plans to self-care and never getting around to it?
Try working through the FREE Workbook below:
“Breaking the Chains of Self-Sabotage: Identifying Your Negative Core Beliefs”
A step by step guide to identifying those emotional patterns that keep popping up in your life and how to start combating them.
Tell us if you found this useful, or your experience of the Workbook. I would love to hear from you so I can continue to improve my offerings to you.
